Relapse **TRIGGER WARNING**

Haven’t been able to blog much lately. I’m in the middle of a rather nasty relapse and really struggling but felt it was important to write about the bad days too I’ve got up and made myself sit at my laptop. 

4 weeks ago I started my final placement on an oncology department. I’m really loving it and being able to be there for people in their final days. I find it a real privilege to be apart of it. 

But lately my mental health has gotten out of hand and I’ve had to listen to my body and take a step back from placement.

I’ve found getting out bed impossible and being able to eat also. And then when I can make myself eat, I end making myself sick shortly after because of feeling nauseous. 

I’ve also started having panic attacks again which is something I haven’t had in a very long time! 

I’m working hard on self care though, and being able to look after myself instead of depending on other people. 

Following on from my previous post about attachment, I’m working really hard not to reach out and depend on my best friend. And I do think I am managing it! I want to be able to look after myself!

I’ve been trying to work out what could have triggered this relapse but I’ve stopped because I’ve realised I was being so hard on myself. Sometimes there isn’t a reason and I think this time it was down to me not taking a breather and over loading myself.

It’s always important to remember recovery isn’t a straight line. Relapses happen and life happens!!

A few tips on how I manage a relapse! 

- swimming!

I love swimming, and being in water. I find it so soothing and relaxing!

- reading. 

I’ve recently started rereading Tess of the d'urbervilles. It’s my favourite book (I love classical literature!) 

- learning! 

Seeing as I haven’t been in placement I’ve been researching and revising on different oncology treatments! I’m passionate about nursing and throwing myself into it really helps! It gives me something to do and it’s something I know is helping others!

- walks.

 I’ve got a puppy who loves to play and walk. Going out for walks in the fen really helps! (Especially because I love the fen!) 

- pen pals

I take part in a letter writing exchange with others who suffer from mental health, I love that I have such an amazing and different support system! (Contact me if you wanna be pen pals I always love writing to new people!)

Enjoy a picture of me hiding in bed from the scary outside world.