A brief of my BPD

Since being diagnosed with BPD I have and continue to learn so much about it. So here’s my brief understanding of why I am the way I am!

When I was younger though I had an amazing childhood filled with holidays all over the world and had and still do have, a family that is amazingly supportive and loving. But at the age of 6 I went through an event in life that very few people can relate to. (at present I don’t want to say the exact details).

In brief I experienced loss on a level that was extremely difficult for me as a child to process and understand. The loss resulted in a swift change in my daily life and the lives of those I depended on around me and created a very frightening world for me.

From what I’ve been told the fear and distress I felt as a child impacted my ability to develop coping methods and changed the way I think and process events.

I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 21 and so I spent a long time thinking I was an awful person and that there was something seriously wrong with me. Once explained and told more about what it was and how it happens. I slowly began to feel myself let go of years of over thinking everything. I finally felt I was entitled to my emotions without trying as hard as I once did to validate them to myself.

I struggled on and off for several years with my mental health, frequently being told I was over sensitive and needed to grow up and mature. This was so damaging to me, I found myself hiding how I felt and learning to hold so much anger towards myself. Being forever so angry about how I reacted or how I felt. Telling myself I was wrong and how I felt had no reason. When I was finally diagnosed I honestly think it saved me. Though at first it felt like the scariest thing, over time as I learnt more about the condition and how to cope. I finally was able to let go of so much anger and anxiety I had created about myself.

I’m still learning new things everyday and I’m always excited to meet similar people who share their coping skills and are people who I feel can help me when I’m struggling.

#BPD #Coping #Thriving #Mentalhealth #MentalHealthawarness